


Sick™

by lol-phan-af (lol_phan_af)



Series: 1-800-did-I-ask [5]
Category: Hamilton - Miranda
Genre: Multi, Sickfic, Texting, implied nonbinary!lafayette
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-03-23
Updated: 2016-03-23
Packaged: 2018-05-28 12:08:10
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,658
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6328528
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lol_phan_af/pseuds/lol-phan-af
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>laf: alex stop chewing the cough drops you're supposed to let them dissolve in your mouth </p><p>little lion: how did you know </p><p>laf: I AM LAYING NEXT TO YOU I CAN HEAR IT </p><p>little lion: hate the sin love the sinner </p><p>laf:stop</p>
            </blockquote>





	Sick™

**johnn** : WHO STOLE MY COUGH DROPS

 **more like HUNKules** : I NEED THEM

 **johnn** : WE ALL NEED THEM

 **johnn** : WE ARE ALL SICK

 **more like HUNKules** : YES BUT I M AT WORK

 **johnn** : Y oU TO O K MY COUG H DRO PS OITUTUT OF THE HOUSE

 **johnn** : THE ONE PLACE I WLL NOT GO IN THIS CONDITION

 **little lion** : what the f u c k Hercules

 **more like HUNKules** : SORRY ILL BUY MORE ON MY WAY HOME

 **more like HUNKules** : OH THERES TWO BOXES IN THE NIGHTSTAND DRESSER

 **little lion** : the lube nightstand?

 **more like HUNKules** : WE AGREED NOT TO CALL IT THAT

 **johnn** : no you yelled at us for calling it that because it's "obscene"

 **more like HUNKules** : IT IS

 **little lion** : Hercules you once told a whole bar about the noise complaints we got from our neighbors that one time and then explained exactly HOW we got those noise complaints and how to do it without tearing a muscle

 **more like HUNKules** : I was drUNK

 **little lion** : you didn't have one ounce of alcohol in your system

 **johnn** : THEYRE NOT IN THE LUBE DRAWER

 **more like HUNKules** : BECAUSE THATS NTOT WHERE I PUT THEM

 **laf** : I am trying to SLEEP

 **more like HUNKules** : did you guys move in separate rooms after I left

  
**laf** : no but I just woke up, alex is currently face down in a hopefully empty puke bucket, and john is still rummaging through the lube drawer because he didn't read your messages

 **laf** : john just fell off the bed

 **johnn** : leave me here to die

 **little lion** : if you come back up here I'll cuddle you for .2 seconds before we get too hot again

 **johnn** : coming

 **laf** : fouND THE COUGH DROPS

 **johnn** : I CALL FIRSTIES

 **more like HUNKules** : I'm glad I went to work today

 **laf** : you wont be when your eyes are so watery that you poke yourself with your needle because you cant see through the tears

 **more like HUNKules** : it's already happened three times

 **laf** : who is your emergency contact

 ****\---

 **more like HUNKules** : which cough drops am I supposed to get

 **laf** : anything that's menthol free and wild cherry flavored

 **more like HUNKules** : are Halls menthol free

 **laf** : no

 **more like HUNKules** : but i like the Halls ones

 **laf** : I'm calling off the wedding

\---

 **little lion** : what do you think Wendy would look like in real life

 **johnn** : Wendy??

 **little lion** : from Wendy's

 **johnn** : I

 **laf** : he just threw up in the parking lot of the supermarket he's kind of out of it

 **johnn** : while I'm thankful for the context

 **johnn** : did I want it

\---

 **little lion** : how are you supposed to protect your shit from criminals?

 **johnn** : ~hire a samurai~

 **more like HUNKules** : eVeRyOnE started hiring samurai

 **little lion** : correction: rich important people hire samurai

 **johnn** : poor people who could not afford to hire samurai did not hire samurai

 **laf** : it is four in the morning

\---

 **little lion** : g wash is forcing me to come home

 **laf** : GOOD

 **laf** : WE TOLD YOU NOT TO GO IN

 **laf** : EVEN HERCULES IS HOME

 **little lion** : NOW IS NOT THE TIME TO YELL AT ME IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE SIDEWALK

 **laf** : at least you wouldn't be the first

 **little lion** : but I'd still be vomiting

 **laf** : you have to look at the pros dear

 **little lion** : I

\---

 **johnn** : why do chashiers always look at us weirdly

 **little lion** : because we're buying enough cough medicine to last a small family their whole lifetimes when there are only four of us

 **laf** : or maybe the fact that herc's hands are in my pockets and I'm holding hands with you and you're also linking arms with alex

 **more like HUNKules** : or maybe the fact that none of our clothes match at all literally

 **more like HUNKules** : since when do you own a lime green frog jacket alex

 **little lion** : since I found it last month on the clearance rack

 **more like HUNKules** : you should've left it there

 **little lion** : :(

 **more like HUNKules** : I'm just kidding you look adorable

 **laf** : ALEX YOU HAVE THE MONEY THE WOMAN HAS BEEN WAITING FOR FOUR MINUTES

 **little lion** : SHIT

\---

 **little lion** : eliza is throwing a party for st. patricks day

 **little lion** : do any of you want to go

 **little lion** : I can't because Hercules is still freaking out about whatever I coughed up earlier and won't let me leave the house

 **more like HUNKules** : IT WAS YELLOW AND RED THATS NOT NORMAL

 **more like HUNKules** : THATS NOT EVEN HUMAN

 **johnn** : too sick

 **laf** : definitely no

 **little lion** : we should all watch the luck of the irish together

 **more like HUNKules** : isnt that that old disney movie

 **little lion** : it was ahead of it's time

 **johnn** : I'll make popcorn

 **laf** : I'll get the doses of medicine we all forgot to take and the water

 **more like HUNKules** : I'll connect my laptop to the TV

 **little lion** : I'll get all of the blankets

 **johnn** : yessss

\---

 **more like HUNKules** : when do you guys have to go back to work

 **laf** : we're currently doing all of our work from home so if we keep it up we can come back when we're better

 **little lion** : wH ICH NEEDS TO BE AS SOON AS POSSIBLE IF I HAVE TO HAVE ONE MORE SKYPE CONFERENCE WITH JEFFERSON TRYING TO TELL ME THAT I'M FAKING MY SICKNESS SO I CAN SLACK OFF IM GOING TO GO BALLISTIC

 **laf** : when did you last sleep

 **little lion** : what's today's date

 **laf** : WHY DON'T YOU REMEMBER

\---

 **laf** : alex stop chewing the cough drops you're supposed to let them dissolve in your mouth

 **little lion** : how did you know

 **laf** : I AM LAYING NEXT TO YOU I CAN HEAR IT

 **little lion** : hate the sin love the sinner

 **laf** :stop

\---

 **laf** : john where are you

 **johnn** : oh I'm sleeping on the couch because as far as I'm concerned I'm cured and you three are NOT getting me sick again

 **laf** : that's so cold

 **laf** : I'm so cold

 **laf** : help me

 **johnn** : ug hg ghg I'll be right there

 **laf** : I love you

 **johnn** : and while I'm #blessed because of it I would love to not be sick again

 **laf** : yeah okay get in here plz

\---

 **little lion** : HERCULES GET IN HERE

 **more like HUNKules** : WHY

 **little lion** : JOHN AND LAF FELL ASLEEP AND THEYRE CUDDLING AND ITS REALLY DONT HAVE ENOUGH SPACE ON MY PHONE FOR ANYMORE PHOTOS SO YOURE GOING TO HAVE TO TAKE THEM FOR ME COMEONCOMEONCOMEON

 **more like HUNKules** : HOW MUCH STUFF DO YOU HAVE ON YOUR PHONE

 **little lion** : THATS NOT IMPORTANT

 **more like HUNKules** : IM COMING

\---

 **laf** : how are we going to have our first dance at our wedding

 **johnn** : conga line

 **laf** : no

 **johnn** : c o n g a  l i n e

 **little lion** : we could like hand each other to each other

 **laf** : bUT WHERE DO WE START

 **laf** : WHERE DO WE END

 **little lion** : hercules and john and then me and you

 **little lion** : then you hand me to hercules and hercules hands john to you

 **little lion** : and then I hand hercules to you and john takes me

 **laf** : that might work

 **little lion** : it would work I drew a diagram

 **johnn** : okay but that OR a conga line

 **laf** : THAT

 **more like HUNKules** : alex's plan

 **johnn** : RUDE

 **johnn** : IM ASKING AN OUTSIDE  
SOURCE

\---

 **johnn** : ANGELICA

 **angie** : I am already afraid

 **johnn** : OKAY SO FOR THE FIRST DANCE AT THE WEDDING

 **johnn** : wHICH WOULD BE COOLER

 **angie** : why are you asking me

 **angie** : you have 3 other s/o for this

 **angie** : why am I the one who has to suffer

 **johnn** : a coNGA LINE

 **angie** : I already am going with the other option

 **johnn** : ANGELICA

 **angie** : YOU CANNOT BE GOING WITH THE CONGA LINE CHOICE

 **johnn** : I NEED ALLIES

 **angie** : WHAT YOU NEED IS BRIDESMAIDS

 **angie** : AND YOULL BE SHORT ONE IF YOU TELL ME YOURE DOING THE CONGA LINE AS YOUR FIRST DANCE AT YOUR OWN WEDDING

  
**johnn** : THIS IS RUDE

\---

 **laf** : I THINK IM HEALED

 **johnn** : GOOD COME MAKE OUT WITH ME

 **laf** : were at work

 **johnn** : your point

 **laf** : which broom closet are you in

 **johnn** : second floor at the end of the hall

 **laf** : omw

 **little lion** : kill us

 **more like HUNKules** : pl ease

\---

 **laf** : are we having four best men

 **laf** : did we think this wedding through at all

 **little lion** : one best man

 **laf** : so gwash

 **little lion** : of course

 **laf** : and Mr. John Church as a groomsman

 **little lion** : are you going to put Mr. John Church on the wedding program

 **laf** : ,,,,,

 **little lion** : so who's the other groomsmen

 **johnn** : we doNT HAVE ANY OTHER MALE FRIENDS

 **little lion** : WHAT DO SUGGEST WE DO THEN

 **iohnn** : TALK ABOUT THE BRIDESMAlDS

 **little lion** : martha, angelica, eliza, and peggy

 **johnn** : DID WE ASK PEGGY

 **little lion** : F CUCK

\---

 **little lion** : PEGGY

 **cinnamon roll** : WHAT

 **little lion** : so WE'RE ALL GETTING MARRIED

 **cinnamon roll** : I HEARD

 **little lion** : AND WE WANT YOU TO BE A BRiDEMAID

 **little lion** : AND WE LITERALLY FORGOT TO ASK

 **cinnamon roll** : oh I know Hercules asked me about when I was going over to talk about dresses

 **little lion** : that man I swear to god

 **cinnamon roll** : WHAT COLOR ARE WE WEARiNG

 **little lion** : WE HAVENT DECEDED YET

 **cinnamon roll** : OKAY UPDATE ME WHEN YOU DO

\---

 **little lion** : peggy is so pure I love peggy

 **laf** : that's true

  
**more like HUNKules** : but what did she say

 **little lion** : oh she already knew because soMEBODY in this chat asked about her bridesmaid dress

 **more like HUNKules** : oops?

\---

 **more like HUNKules** : easter is soon

 **more like HUNKules** : which means I'm going home for it

 **more like HUNKules** : and yoURE ALL INVITED TO MY FAMILY'S HOUSE

 **little lion** : WE'RE MEETING YOUR PARENTS FOR THE FIRST TlME

 **more like HUNKules** : Oh mY GOD i FORGOT ABOUT THAT PART

 **laf** : FINALLY

 **johnn** : WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

 **more like HUNKules** : god save us

**Author's Note:**

> IM STILL SICK SO HERE


End file.
